just an ordinary goddess…

…and it’s soooo pretty! Came all charged up, ready to run, which was good, since I needed it for meetings on Saturday (which is when I picked it up). At the Coordinating Committee meeting I stroked it lovingly, in full view of everyone, and made MusicianMan sputter a laugh as I mouthed, “My preciousss…” The chair of SoCal Grassroots even made mention of my new acquisition, since I opened it and worked on it while at a meeting at his place earlier in the day.

Later that night, while at HSTeacher’s home, I loaded up some nice programs. The next day the two of us sat in his living room, quietly working on our respective laptops (his is a 15″ Apple Titanium PowerBook) much as another couple would read the newspaper on a Sunday morning. The extent of our collective geekiness made me laugh.

Next step in entering the 21st Century: getting high-speed intenet. Then a cell phone with Bluetooth (which may end up being a hand-held).

*sigh*

…Tucson, that is.

Last weekend HSTeacher and I drove to Tucson for an overnight stay so that we could attend the naming ceremony for BestFriend’s new baby girl. It was a long drive, to be sure, and I admit to a bit of trepidation, as road trips are notorious for bringing out the worst in people. Thankfully my fears (and, I found out later, HSTeacher’s) were unfounded, as the outing went well. Doesn’t mean there weren’t moments of tense to be had. But we weathered those moments well and realized, yeah, we still like and love each other. In the end, it was all good. Plus, though HSTeacher has not yet met my family – what with most of them being flung all over the damn place – he did meet BestFriend and her family, including her parents and sister. The only people I’ve known longer than them are my own family, and they’ve long been another family to me. And BestFriend approves of HSTeacher, which is always of the good.

And now for some photos from the weekend:

Saturday was cloudy and threatened to rain, but luckily the rain stayed away.

I have a love of taking pictures of landscapes and clouds, so the nature obliged me by combining both in one easy to take picture.

We shared the driving duties heading out of town (HSTeacher was the primary driver heading home). Here HSTeacher has his turn at the wheel.

And what to I do when I get behind the wheel? Endanger our lives by taking pictures. Thing is, I only looked away for one second to frame this shot. Not bad, huh?

As the clouds rolled in, threatening us with rain, the sky took on a surreal quality.

I have pictures from visitng BestFriend, and from the wonderful ceremony, but I haven’t gotten permission to publish them, so they won’t go up here. However, just as we were leaving, we got BFSis to take this picture:

And as we left BestFriend’s house, the Tucson sunset greeted us:

After a long drive, we saw Downtown Los Angeles welcoming us home:

(Okay, that was actually me taking the picture the next day as I was driving home from HSTeacher’s place – we had rented a car for the weekend. But is still makes a good timeline, doesn’t it?)

A good weekend, all told. I’m very happy we did it.

Oh, not in the diplomatic way, or in the building homes for Habitat for Humanity way (though I’ve done some work with them in the past) or even in a lust in my heart sort of way (though, you know, I have many times since puberty).

No, much like the country over which Carter presided when he spoke of a crisis in confidence, I’m feeling malaise.

All day I’ve tired and achy, with a bit of crankiness thrown in. Bones are too heavy to move. Mucsles think atrophy would be just peachy, swearing that vice-grips hold them in one place. Eyelids threaten to close. Brain wants to shut off and roll under the covers. People completely annoy the crap out of me.

Some moments I’m almost okay, but then a wave of malaise hits me anew, and I just want to crawl under my desk and curl up, waiting for it to go away and hoping I’ll feel better soon.

The timing is, of course, rotten, as I’ll be going to Tucson this weekend with HSTeacher. Sunday BestFriend and her family are having a naming ceremony for her new baby girl and HSTeacher and I will be driving there and back. It’ll be the first time we go on a trip together, so I’m excited. But I’m also feeling a little trepidation, as we’ll be driving fourteen hours round-trip and I am not a fan of long drives. I hope my crankiness clears up by the time we head out of L.A., else I will not be a fun traveling companion.

Of course I have tons of things to do tonight, but I lack the energy to do them. I wish I could take tomorrow off, but I’ll be out of the office on Monday thanks to my treadmill stress test, so taking tomorrow off as well wouldn’t be a good thing.

Too much to do, as usual, and no time to get it all done.

I’m a sucker for a good meme, but sometimes you just have to say, “Fuck memes.” Unapologetically stolen from Karl Elvis, who yanked it from Shoeless:

Reply to this post, and I’ll tell you one or two (maybe even three) reasons why I hate you.

Then put this in your own journal, and spread the hate.

I love all of you so much that I hate you for making me love you.

(Except you, HSTeacher. I love loving you. Especially tonight… *growl*)

…is HSTeacher’s birthday. I won’t tell y’all his age, ’cause a lady never tells. But a very happy birthday to you, honey!

And yes, I have a very special birthday present planned for him…

In the past I’ve mentioned that I’m a bit on the hirsute side. It’s something I battle with, despite knowing that ultimately I will lose the war.

But since I’ve got an election on Sunday where I’ve got to look as good and professional as possible, I’ve decided to get my facial hair waxed on Saturday. Which means I’ve been letting that hair grow out for almost two weeks. And it’s driving me completely nuts.

I hate it. I hate it so much. I’m positive that small children are fleeing at the sight of me and animals are looking at me askance, whispering amongst themselves, “Girl needs a weed-whacker.” Even furries are thinking I have a hell of a costume.

Okay, maybe it’s not that bad, but coupled with the fact that my face has decided it’s time to break out in red neon blemishes, well, let’s just say I’m not feeling at my most attractive right now. Thank heavens HSTeacher hasn’t seemed to notice. Or, if he has, he doesn’t care a whit. ‘Cause the thought of having my boyfriend avoiding me until I’m somewhat less Sasquatch-y doens’t thrill me a heck of a lot.

Ooh, I can’t wait until Saturday…

…it was nice knowing you. And I mean that sincerely.

2006 marked an interesting time, I have to say. For the first time in a long time, the good outweighed the bad by such a huge margin that I almost can’t remember the bad.

It started out on a somber note, even though I was a little excited about it – unemployed, scared for the health of my mother as she struggled with newly diagnosed breast cancer, coming to grips with the likelihood that I’d be alone for the rest of my life in my little one bedroom Valley apartment with my cats.

Somewhere along the way I picked up as a publisher’s assistant for an Irish newspaper and webmaster for an incredible congressional candidate. Mom’s lumpectomy was wildly successful and now she’s doing very well. I decided that everyone else was right and that George Clooney was damned hot. Somehow my love life was jumpstarted and I went on a lot of first dates (though none of them were with George Clooney). I gained a roommate and a new apartment, though I lost my beloved neighborhood.

Unfortunately, I also lost my dearly beloved Noel, he who was my dearest companion – feline or human – for thirteen years. I’m still filled with extraordinary sadness and I wonder if I’ll ever stop missing him. Also, BabySis moved to Florida, which frequently causes the corners of my mouth to turn downwards. My health has been giving me quite the scare as of late, though nothing has yet been diagnosed. Pluto was demoted to dwarf planet status.

And now? I’m working at JPL, which excites me to no end. I’m making pretty okay money, which is nice for once. In a few weeks I’ll be running to be delegate to the California Democratic Party, which would be very interesting if I get it. I’ll be part of a progressive slate, which will up my chances of being elected.

But most astounding for me? I have a boyfriend. One I’ve been seeing for almost six months. And we’re still getting along very well. Like any couple, we have moments where there are arguments, but we talk it out and try to come to some sort of resolution. We love each other like crazy, which is a wonderful feeling. But we also have enough history between the two of us that our feet remain on terra firma even when our heads are in the clouds.

Turning 40 seemed to have worked out for me. Thank you, 2006.

Here’s hoping that 2007 is even better for all of us.

But this weekend sure scared me enough to think I wasn’t too far behind.

Okay, that is more than a little hyperbolic, but having to have to go to the emergency room was more than a little jarring.

I had a pretty bad episode on Saturday – HSTeacher had to take me to the emergency room because it lasted much longer than usual. As a rule the epidoses come and go, with maybe a minute or so per episode at the most.

However, when HSTeacher was taking me to the train which would take me home in time for a cable guy appointment (I was planning to join the 21st century and get high-speed internet), I felt an episode start.

We got to the train station and had a few minutes to wait, but the episode just kept happening, even though I did all my usual tricks to calm myself, such as breathing exercises. I warned HSTeacher that I might not be able to get on the train, but I also said that maybe we should get to the platform to see how I felt. We got to the platform and I had to lean against a pole. It was not good, so I sat down for a few moments while he held me, then we went back to his place.

I laid down, thinking that maybe I needed to rest a bit, but we started to look up emergency rooms in the area, just in case. Ten minutes later I told my honey that we had to go to the emergency room, because my whole body started tingling. I sat up and swung my legs over the side, but the thought of standing on my own was too much to bear, so HSTeacher had to help me up and helped me out to his car. I could walk, but it was slow going and I was more than a little wobbly.

We got to the hopsital and, as we parked, a new symptom appeared: my right hand just started shaking, though not for long. We did the whole check-in rigmarole and soon afterwards the nurses got me into the triage portion, though I had to wait quite a while for a technician to perform my EKG – the hospital was extremely busy. Of course, as is the case of every other EKG I’ve had since October, it was a lovely EKG in every way, suitable for framing. However, not everything was so hunky dory: my normally on-the-low-side-of-normal blood pressure was up to 143/82 and my heart rate was at 101 – the chances are that it had come down by that point.

Since it was ascertained that I wasn’t having a heart attack – at least not at that moment – back out to the waiting room I went (HSTeacher had been chased out of the triage area earlier due to space issues – too many people back there as well). So we waited for another few hours, with his arm around my shoulder, my head on his shoulder and his head resting on mine. At one point I was feeling better and he was starting to doze, so we switched and I rested his head on my chest. We were way too sweet for words.

All told we were in the emergency room for about five to six hours. Finally I asked one of the nurses if she had a rough estimate about much longer it would be before my name was called. Because of the extreme business of the ER, she couldn’t even give me a ballpark figure. At that point I was feeling much better (though very tired) so we left, because we could have been sitting there for another three to four, if not more. (One guy had gotten there three hours before we did – at 5am – and he was still waiting at 1pm)

So Saturday’s episode lasted over three hours. Worst. Epiosde. Ever.

I also started my period on Saturday, which didn’t help me feel any better. The whole day was me sleeping off and on, HSTeacher being very solicitous, trying to keep his kids as quiet as possible, bringing me a heating pad for my abdomen and making sure I got the sleep I needed. Admittedly there was one time we clashed, but that was through a misunderstanding that we cleared up, and he was the perfect boyfriend. Of course.

Sunday I was still feeling off, but well enough to head back home and attend a political meeting. MusicianMan and I talked a bit about what’s been going on with me and he made some good suggestions, also agreeing with what I’ve been doing to narrow this thing down.

I am feeling much better now. I went for my previously scheduled follow-up this morning, where a new wrinkle entered the scene. My blood pressure decided to have a little fun today. Around 9:30am it was taken and registered at 116/72. Pretty good. But, only an hour later it was taken again. This time? 130/83. And thirty minutes later my docotor took my blood pressure again, in both arms, with the old fashioned stethescope/BP cuff method, and it hovered around 140/85.

For criminey’s sake.

So Doc is putting me on a low dose of beta blockers. And baby aspirin.

Woo Fucking Hoo.

Who knows what’s going on? I sure don’t. But I am going to continue to work on my eating habits, just to see how much that helps, and I’m going to eat out a lot less than I have. Instead I’m going to prepare a lot more of my own foods, eat as much organic food as possible, because there is the possibility I’ve developed a sensitivity to something. And get right back on the supplements that I negelected a little last week because my schedule was thrown off so much. And I’ll know next week the results of my Holter monitor test.

I’m really getting tired of all of this. Can I go back to feeling relatively healthy again? Please?

…you know how Mama likes it.

This morning HSTeacher sent me a link, saying he thought of me when he read the Wired story: Firefly Reborn as Online Universe.

Lookee! My nipples are all tingly!

Ooh, yeah, HSTeacher has been a very good boy. I think I shall reward him accordingly…