just an ordinary goddess…

The above quote was taken from the ruling handed down by Judge Vaughn R. Walker in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger case, in which two same-sex couples sued the Republic of California, challenging the constitutionality of Proposition 8.

The ruling found that the proposition is unconstitutional, striking down the contention that relegating an entire group of people to second-class citizenship is perfectly okay.

Needless to say, this makes me very happy. One might even say it makes me…gay.

Yes, the Prop. 8 bigots will file an appeal. Had the decision gone the other way, opponents of Prop. 8 would’ve done the same thing. Last night the lawyers for Prop. 8 filed a motion for a stay on the ruling, which Judge Walker has granted for an indefinite period (though one lucky couple managed to sneak in their marriage before the stay was issued). But inevitably the tide will continue turning, washing the detritus of hate and bigotry out to sea. It’s only a matter of time.

Equality will win out.

Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite-sex couples are superior to same-sex couples. Because California has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional. — Judge Vaughn R. Walker — August 4, 2010

I knew I’d been gone for awhile, with only the weekly Twitter roundups as placeholders and no original content at all, but almost four months? Yowsa. I think I beat my previous “Ordinary Goddess” record by a month (though I was internet persona absentis for about eighteen months in from 2001 to 2003, when I switched from my online journal “Fleeting Imprints” to my Blogspot incarnation “All the Fun of the Fair”).

Anywho, things have been happening around Casa de Carol. Keeping myself relatively healthy, both in body and mind. Started taking Prozac in February, because my life was stalled due to a low-level depression that I just couldn’t kick-start myself out of, as well as an underlying constant anxiety that made me more than a little miserable and insecure, which didn’t help in the relationship department. This, combined with seeing a therapist whom I liked and felt comfortable with instantly, has made some difference. It’s still a bit of a struggle, but far less than it was previously. I’ll be starting a class-type thing next week – recommended by my therapist – which is supposed to help in handling depression and anxiety.

Oh, don’t worry about the previous mention of relationship issues. CuteFilmNerd and I are still very much together, having celebrated our second anniversary in March. It’s been tough for both of us, due to my depression/jealousy/insecurity and the issues that he has (which I will not write about here, as his life is not for public consumption unless he chooses to make it so), but we’re both stubborn people who love each other very much because of our many positive traits and are pretty determined to make this thing work, so we’ve got that going for us.

I will admit that a major issue that he had with me was taken care of in April, when I bought myself an early (and rather expensive) birthday present:

My early, expensive, birthday present to myself...

Yep, a new (to me) car – 2007 Suzuki Forenza. After nearly seven carless years, I’m finally experiencing flexible mobility. I have to admit, it’s pretty nice. Needless to say, right now I’m doing the majority of the driving when CuteFilmNerd and I go places. After over two years of hauling me around, it’s only fair. And yes, he seems to be enjoying my chauffeuring duties quite a bit, which I totally get. There were times in my previous car-owning life where I was the primary driver for a carless friend for a number of years that I would’ve liked to occasionally be in the passenger seat. Until she got her own car and proved to be a scary driver, that is.

It’s a good thing I started the Prozac in February, as driving was one of my anxiety triggers, especially at night. Now I’m rarely anxious when driving, which is a huge thing for me.

In addition, Matisse has been doing very well on his current prescription food and revised insulin dosage, full of energy and hardly seeming to be a fifteen year old cat. Edison and B.J. are also doing very well.

I’ve had a yen for cleaning and organizing too. Still more to do, but three of the four main areas of the apartment have seen marked improvements since April and have remained fairly neat and clean. Yay! Now I have to bust my ass on my bedroom and bathroom again, but having several spaces that feel comfortable (including the alcove I am currently typing in) is fantastic. I’m damned well going to keep it up.

Since taming the kitchen I’ve felt like cooking more often, which has given my creativity a new outlet (which is of the good, since my writing creativity has gone the way of the dodo). I’ve discovered that I make a mean vegan shepherd’s pie and that my vegan chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting are most yummy. Also? I can build a damned good vegan reuben.

So that’s the last few months in Le Vie du Carol. I have no idea how long I’ll be writing, or if I’ll write here on a regular basis. I may just opt to post writing exercises meant to tone up those muscles again. If so, I’ll post those in the Writing section of the site and mention them here.

Still, it’s good to see y’all again, even if it is only for a moment.

Take care!

Because I’m a sappy, sappy woman, I decided that I’d put together a mix CD for CuteFilmNerd for Valentine’s Day. Songs that I felt expressed our relationship over the last (almost) two years were pondered and selected and rearranged until I felt it was as close to perfect as it was going to get. But there was one song that I knew I had to include from the moment I listened to the lyrics. One that had to be the coda of the CD:

Have I mentioned how much I love Marian Call’s music?. ‘Cause I do.

Here’s the thing: I am a sappy, sappy woman. A sappy woman with high musical standards, mind you, but when I hear a song that pierces my heart, it’s all I can do to keep from tearing up. Even then, I’m not entirely successful (such as now – while at work).

So when this song was first sent to me via a now-defunct “Song of the Day” listserv which I used to belong to, I turned into a weeping pile of goo. It was through the listserv that I “discovered” Jason Robert Brown, a Tony-award winning composer who is the only living composer that comes closest to Stephen Sondheim, in my estimation.

(The only other contemporary musical theater composer who came close was Jonathan Larson, who died far too young just as RENT was starting its first off-Broadway performances. I can only imagine what brilliance he would have had before him.)

As Sondheim is the closest thing to a musical god in my book, it’s not a title I give lightly. But I think it’s one that JRB can hold with no effort – he’s that good.

“Someone To Fall Back On” from Wearing Someone Else’s Clothes by Jason Robert Brown | Lyrics | Purchase

BTW, this goes out to my honey.

see more dog and puppy pictures

That it has been…

Oh, Vermont Legislature! Your vote to OK same-sex marriage makes me all soft and swoony. Wanna make out on my metaphorical sofa? As long as you don’t mind if Iowa joins in. I’m hoping to be making out with my own state before too long. Come on, California Supreme Court, if you do the right thing, I promise to make out with you too. I will love you LONG time.

(Tip of the hat to @mposten, who came up with the idea of making out with states that do good things.)

In a world where up is down and the sky is paisley, Iowa has declared bans on gay marriage to be unconstitutional. Iowa is the home state of CuteFilmNerd, so that’s at least two most excellent things to come from that state. (Three, if you count the fictional future birth of James Tiberius Kirk.)

When left coast California says same-sex marriage is a bad thing and heartland Iowa says there ain’t nothing wrong with it, the world has indeed turned upside down. However, I’m not complaining. A victory for civil rights anywhere is a victory for civil rights everywhere. It’s the next step in the slow yet inexorable progress in acknowledging the humanity and rights of all LGBT folks.

Keep on getting down with your bad self, Iowa.

Marriage Equality USA has a list of actions for folks to participate in around the country today and tomorrow.  If it’s not too late in the day, check them out!