just an ordinary goddess…

I knew I’d been gone for awhile, with only the weekly Twitter roundups as placeholders and no original content at all, but almost four months? Yowsa. I think I beat my previous “Ordinary Goddess” record by a month (though I was internet persona absentis for about eighteen months in from 2001 to 2003, when I switched from my online journal “Fleeting Imprints” to my Blogspot incarnation “All the Fun of the Fair”).

Anywho, things have been happening around Casa de Carol. Keeping myself relatively healthy, both in body and mind. Started taking Prozac in February, because my life was stalled due to a low-level depression that I just couldn’t kick-start myself out of, as well as an underlying constant anxiety that made me more than a little miserable and insecure, which didn’t help in the relationship department. This, combined with seeing a therapist whom I liked and felt comfortable with instantly, has made some difference. It’s still a bit of a struggle, but far less than it was previously. I’ll be starting a class-type thing next week – recommended by my therapist – which is supposed to help in handling depression and anxiety.

Oh, don’t worry about the previous mention of relationship issues. CuteFilmNerd and I are still very much together, having celebrated our second anniversary in March. It’s been tough for both of us, due to my depression/jealousy/insecurity and the issues that he has (which I will not write about here, as his life is not for public consumption unless he chooses to make it so), but we’re both stubborn people who love each other very much because of our many positive traits and are pretty determined to make this thing work, so we’ve got that going for us.

I will admit that a major issue that he had with me was taken care of in April, when I bought myself an early (and rather expensive) birthday present:

My early, expensive, birthday present to myself...

Yep, a new (to me) car – 2007 Suzuki Forenza. After nearly seven carless years, I’m finally experiencing flexible mobility. I have to admit, it’s pretty nice. Needless to say, right now I’m doing the majority of the driving when CuteFilmNerd and I go places. After over two years of hauling me around, it’s only fair. And yes, he seems to be enjoying my chauffeuring duties quite a bit, which I totally get. There were times in my previous car-owning life where I was the primary driver for a carless friend for a number of years that I would’ve liked to occasionally be in the passenger seat. Until she got her own car and proved to be a scary driver, that is.

It’s a good thing I started the Prozac in February, as driving was one of my anxiety triggers, especially at night. Now I’m rarely anxious when driving, which is a huge thing for me.

In addition, Matisse has been doing very well on his current prescription food and revised insulin dosage, full of energy and hardly seeming to be a fifteen year old cat. Edison and B.J. are also doing very well.

I’ve had a yen for cleaning and organizing too. Still more to do, but three of the four main areas of the apartment have seen marked improvements since April and have remained fairly neat and clean. Yay! Now I have to bust my ass on my bedroom and bathroom again, but having several spaces that feel comfortable (including the alcove I am currently typing in) is fantastic. I’m damned well going to keep it up.

Since taming the kitchen I’ve felt like cooking more often, which has given my creativity a new outlet (which is of the good, since my writing creativity has gone the way of the dodo). I’ve discovered that I make a mean vegan shepherd’s pie and that my vegan chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting are most yummy. Also? I can build a damned good vegan reuben.

So that’s the last few months in Le Vie du Carol. I have no idea how long I’ll be writing, or if I’ll write here on a regular basis. I may just opt to post writing exercises meant to tone up those muscles again. If so, I’ll post those in the Writing section of the site and mention them here.

Still, it’s good to see y’all again, even if it is only for a moment.

Take care!

Cool guy Shawn Powers – good friend, fellow UCFer, Linux Journal editor and just all around great guy – lost his house (and everything inside) in a fire. Thankfully, his family is okay. Unfortunately, they lost their pets in the fire.

It’s never a good time for such a horrible thing to happen, but the middle of a cold Michigan winter is amongst the worst times of all to lose your house.

The good folks over at Linux Journal have set up a fund for donations for Shawn and his family. If you have a few dollars you can spare, please swing by and drop some money in the bucket.

Thinking about you, Shawn hon, and keeping you and your family in my heart and in my thoughts. Take care, darlin’.

My Twitter feed has been mostly filled with all things Station Fire, mainly because it’s not far from where I live and even closer to where I work. JPL was initially threatened, but seems to be safe for the moment. After closing the lab yesterday due to poor air quality, it was reopened today, though it’s still looking pretty damned orangey-tan out there. Thank heavens for air conditioning and air filtration systems – makes being inside totally bearable.

However, though I can seem to think of nothing else, I’ve got to divert my mind from the conflagration behind me. And how better to do that than to display some lovely loot?

Once again I opened my front door on a Friday off and found a package at my feet. This time the package was from the ever fabulous Janiece. Sometime ago I won a contest on her site and my prize was a hand knit hat. Having seen Janiece knit in person, I knew it would be special. And it is! Even more special — she made a matching scarf! And both of them match my bedding pretty closely!

Scarf detail

Hat detail

Wigstand (aka old thermos) modeling the lovely hat and scarf

Me modeling hat and scarf for CuteFilmNerd

Ooh, makes my hazel eyes browner!

Thank you, Janiece! You dost rawk mucheth!

Recently I mentioned the food blog of my good friend Polarbeast. I’ve been friends with Polarbeast (aka Dave) and his lovely wife Bianca since we were theater geek upstarts in our high school days. In other words, a pretty long time (I’ll leave it to you to guess the number of years — and be nice).

Polarbeast has got a mean yet coaxing way with words and certainly doesn’t need the likes of me to bring on the word pwnage. Despite that, he has asked, should I be in the mood, to contribute a guest restaurant review. I came close once before, taking notes and photos at the late, lamented Vegan Spot, but I never got around to actually writing the damned thing.

Finally I reviewed Café Flourish and I didn’t even have to take notes. Everything about my favorite sandwich — the BLTA — is imprinted indelibly on my taste-buds.

Go on and check out both my entry and, if you’re in L.A., the restaurant. Also, take a long, meandering stroll through Dining in L.A. Good words about good food are always fun to read.

On Sunday my dear friend Boychik came up from San Diego to visit and to introduce me to his new boyfriend. CuteFilmNerd and I ended up double-dating for the day, starting off eating at My Vegan in Pasadena (thanks to the aforelinked recommendation in Friend Polarbeast’s restarurant blog), then we hied over to The Huntington Library, Art Collections and Botanical Gardens. We only had time for a brief overview of the gardens, which means that CuteFilmNerd and I will have to go back soon to see even more (and take even more photos). Mind you, I’ve been to the Huntington several times (my first time being a kamikaze film shoot in ‘92 with the filmmaker I was dating at the time [I also spent the day there with my dear friend Linda and my mom the first year Linda visited the U.S.]) , but it never stops being gorgeous. I’m sure there are still parts of it I still haven’t seen.

Naturally, I took photos, starting with the parking lot:

Here are my favorites (there are many):

And, of course, the narcissist and her honey:

(Obviously, I am putting my new-to-me camera to good use. Thank you again, Michelle!)

Back in December, a bunch of things were stolen from CuteFilmNerd’s car. I didn’t mention it in my entry, but one of the things that was stolen was my messenger bag with my digital camera in it. While it wasn’t the most technologically advanced camera, it took nice enough photos and I’ve been missing it ever since, forced to use my crappy camera phone if something visual tickled my fancy.

The beginning of July marked the birthday of The Awesome Michelle, who received an awesome camera from her awesome husband.

(There’s a lot of awesome going on on West (By G-d) Virginia. Who knew?)

Michelle realized that four digital cameras were two too many, so she offered the UCF folks two cameras to a good home. Timorously I raised my hand and thusly I was rewarded with a camera. Yay!

So last Friday I was home – it was one of my Fridays off – and I was puttering around my very hot apartment, trying to get some household chores done without incurring heat stroke. I heard the doorbell ring, but I was in my bedroom in the back, with hands full of stuff. Plus I never like to answer the door when I’m not expecting someone to come over. So I didn’t answer the doorbell.

About five minutes later I went to the front door and opened it, then looked downward to see a box sitting on the doormat.

“Wha-?” my mind said. Packages are rarely received because UPS and FedEx can’t get in unless someone is home and willing to answer the gate buzzer, which rings through to my roommate’s landline. His phone didn’t ring, so I was unaware of package delivery.

I picked it up, hoping there was no ticking or buzzing (because aren’t the only people who send packages through the USPS Unibomber types [says the woman who recently shipped something on CuteFilmNerd's behalf via USPS]), then I looked at the return address. It was from West (by G-d) Virginia! WooHoo!

And here’s what I found upon opening the box (sorry – these photos were taken with my camera phone – I haven’t figured out how to take a picture of a camera with the camera I’m taking a picture of):

On Friday I played around with it a little, but didn’t really take photos. I had too much to get done. Saturday, on the other hand, I was a photo-taking maniac:

A yummy vegan reuben sandwich from Cafe Flourish. Some say it’s the best vegan reuben sandwich in Los Angeles. It’s CuteFilmNerd’s favorite sandwich. I think it’s good, but not phenomenal – the avocado competes too much with the thousand island dressing and the texture of the tempeh doesn’t quite work for me. However, the accompanying quinoa tabbouleh is amazing – fantastically fresh ingredients that leap on your tongue and do a happy little flavor dance.

Vegan ice cream at Sccops near Los Angeles City College. The place is a bit of a hipster hangout, but the ice cream is fantastic, with interesting flavor combinations. Plus they always make four vegan flavors each day. Whether there will be any left when you get there is another matter.

And, of course, I took photos of the boys:

Matisse was pretty laid back about the whole thing.

Edison was a little tougher, but I finally got a good photo.

Unfortunately, BJ decided he wasn’t in the mood. The best I could get was this somewhat blurry photo. I’ll get him yet, though, I swear…

The new camera also has a panoramic option, as can be evidenced by my attempted panorama of my crowded bedroom.

And, of course, I had to test the video option on the camera, which, while not stunning (it’s not a camcorder, after all), was much better than my previous camera’s, as can be seen in these wholly uninteresting videos:

On the whole, I’d have to say this camera thing is a rousing success. A big thanks to The Awesome Michelle!

Today is sort of an auspicious day. It marks the tenth anniversary of my writing presence on the internet.

Wow.

I started out with an online journal, eons (relatively speaking) before blogs came on the scene, thanks to my inadvertent introduction to online journals by a man I don’t really know, but whose writing I’ve always enjoyed: John Scalzi. When reading my very first journal entry, I see how much of my voice has stayed the same and how much of it has changed. I believe that keeping my journal and various blogs over last decade has improved my writing immeasurably. I still have a long way to go, of course, but seeing my progress pleases me quite a bit.

Not only has my style of writing changed, but the things I tend to write about has as well. I used to write more about my family, but after we flew apart in 2002, I was less inclined to do so. After a long break between my old journal and my newer blog (the entries of which have been moved to this domain), my writing interest seemed to focus mainly on a dear friend of mine for whom I had fallen hard. It was during my years writing on Blogger that I became involved in political activism. It’s interesting to see how that evolved and how important that became to me.

Now? Now I seem to write less original content. The current incarnation of my blog is – for the time being anyway – less about my life and more along the lines of what blogs originally were: a weblog about things around the internet that I find interesting, with personal commentary from me.

Most likely that’s because I’m just not as into writing as I used to be. I go through phases like this – I’ll write up a storm for a while, then seem to burn out for a longer period. That tends to happen when I cut back on my non-internet reading, i.e. book reading.

The good news is that I’ve gotten back into book reading with a vengeance over the last few weeks. I’ve started my third book in a week and a half. Hopefully that renewed interest will be reflected in my online writing. *crosses fingers*

Still, ten years? Wow.

I oughta go get myself an anniversary present.

Say, friend, are you tired of those pesky Jesusphiles knocking on your door, asking you if you’re ready for the end of the world? Are you just too damned polite (or half asleep) to slam the door in their faces, but you want them to leave with more than your usual mumbled, ‘Sorry, not interested.”? Do you wish they would just never darken your door again?

Well, friend, have I got just the thing for you! Head on over to Stonekettle Station! Jim will set you up with just the perfect thing to get rid of the nosy Jesus freak in your neighborhood!

Me: “End of the World? What are you selling, bomb shelter plans?”

Woman: “Ahh ha ha, bomb shelter pla… No what I’d like…

Me: “Cause I could use me some good underground bomb shelter plans.”

Woman: “No, I…”

Me: “Does your shelter plan have a place to store food and guns? Lots and lots of guns? Because when the Zombie Apocalypse comes you’re going to need lots of guns…big ones. Are you selling guns?”

Woman: “I, uh…zombies?”

That’s right! Stonekettle Station has just the brush-off you’re looking for!

(Easy payment plans for all. Free delivery for residents of Alaska.)

Just remember to make a left at Albuquerque for the best deals in verbally drop kicking your local door-to-door religious nuts – at Stonekettle Station!

‘Round about my birthday day I received an interesting email with an interesting enclosure:

My first thought was, Wow! That’s a hell of a lot of chocolate! My second, third and fourth thoughts were of gratitude to a rocking bunch of ladies. I love a good piece of chocolate and I’d heard from Tania and Michelle that this was most excellent chocolate. Even better, the chocolatier was headquartered in Los Angeles. Yay!

It was awhile before I could use the gift certificate, though. I was hesitant to order online because 1) the weather has been unpredictable and I didn’t want to receive a bunch of melted chocolate due to a heat wave (which we haven’t really had, though I never know from day to day if it’s going to be a cold day or hot day) and 2) my apartment building isn’t ideal for receiving packages.

I considered going to one of the farmers’ markets which Nina lists on her site, and CuteFilmNerd and I finally went to the one in Brentwood. I found Nina’s booth and chatted with her for a little bit while CuteFilmNerd went off to play with some Lhaso Apsos at a rescue booth. She is a sweet person, with a personality that was still bubbly after late nights and long hours preparing and shipping Father’s Day candy. We got there pretty late, so she was out of several of her varieties, including the malt candy bar, which I was especially interested in trying. I bought about $40 of candy, though, some of which I gave to CuteFilmNerd and my roommate, as a small token of appreciation for lugging my ass around town.

I kept most of it for myself, though, as it was part of a birthday present from such a wonderful group of women.

Yesterday I polished off the two peanut butter bars I’d kept:

Most excellent indeed, with little surprise bursts of honey and strawberry jam. My first bite, which included the strawberry jam, actually made me laugh.

The caramels are smooth, sweet and buttery with just a hint of smokiness and kosher salt. I still have some of those left, but I don’t know how much longer they’ll last. Considering I’m not a huge caramel fan (I find most of them far too sweet), these are perfect.

But for me the pièce de résistance were the Scotch candy bars:

Oh. My. Ganache and caramel enrobed in dark chocolate using high quality ingredients would be enough to get me all Pavlovian, but the ganache was laced with Talisker 1992 Distillers Edition Single Malt Scotch. I’m not a scotch drinker, but it took the candy to an incredible level, giving it depth. Even more incredible – sea salt sprinkled on top, giving it a wonderful finish. I ate the second (and last) of them just a few moments ago, and am looking sadly at the empty wrapper, wishing there were more.

Well, I still have about $60 left on the gift certificate – I may have to stock up on Scotch candy bars.

Thank you again, UCF ladies. And, again- wow.

…but the memories will live on.

There is much to tell of one and one half days of UCF trollopy goodness: leaving a raining Los Angeles on Friday and arriving 2 1/2 hours later via Greyhound bus in sunny Downtown San Diego (an area I’m very familiar with, thanks to Democratic and journaling conventions); standing on a nearby street corner with rolling suitcase in one hand and cell phone in the other as I tried to help an SUV of not-yet-drunken trollops find me; being flagged down by passengers of said SUV, who then flashed a “Drunken Trollops” sign as I approached the now-parked vehicle (much to the amusement of several passers-by), with all the attendant hugging and squeeing and loading of luggage.

Then to the illustrious Taco Chop to pick up lunch and on to the Mechanicky Home for drinks and lunch and copious amounts of junk food. Loot was given, gardens were toured, avocados were “stolen” from a next-door neighbor – in full view of neighbor, who was heartily amused by the tree-climbing antics of the more athletic of the group (Anne and Mechanicky Gal) and the attempts of Janiece and myself to catch the dropped avocados without putting down our drinks.

More talking and drinking and laughing commenced, to be followed by dinner as we were accompanied by the awesome Mechanicky Guy to another yummy Mexican restaurant (veggie fajitas and sweet alcoholic coffee drinks FTW!) and then more drinking and snacking and laughing and talking back at the homestead. Some texting was done, but discretion dictates that I not reveal whether the participants were sober or inebriated. Ahem. We turned in rather early, as folks were tired from traveling.

Saturday dawned with the Trollops more or less intact and up at a relatively decent hour. In honor of Eric, for breakfast I decided to have the Crunchberries – how can the berries not be real fruit? I was (and am) stunned.

After coffee and coffee cake, we thought it best to present our best selves to the world by showering. How were we to know what an adventure that would prove as we confronted a water-loving insect the size of a Volvo? Or that said Volvo insect would send two Navy vets, an architect with experience on construction sites and a born and bred Navy brat who has survived the trenches of political theater running and squealing like a bunch of five year old girls? Mechanicky Gal ended up dispatching the beast (with my shoe) and Anne removed his remains from the scene of the crime and we continued with our separate ablutions.

The Trollops descended upon a spa, with lovely results, then enjoyed Indian and Middle Eastern food at a nearby food court, followed by swinging by Cost Plus for getting of good deals (whereupon Janiece handed me the most awesome Pez dispensers ever – I had almost gotten them at a White Elephant Holiday party in December and had them snatched away, so you can imagine my delight) and headed back for more drinking and snacking and TWDP (texting while drinking port). Anne wowed us with her homemade baked brie and strawberry tarts, Mechanicky Gal complemented the Devon clotted cream I’d gotten at Cost Plus with freshly baked cranberry walnut scones and I narrowly avoided eating so much that I needed to be rolled out the door. More photos were taken, then, alas, I had to be on my way to catch my bus back home.

After a slight detour in the direction of the airport (uh, yeah, we meant to do that – look at all the pretty boats!), I was dropped off as close to the Greyhound station as downtown parking permitted (which was actually pretty close), with hugging and promises of doing this again, though maybe closer to the center or East Coast of the United States (though I insisted that if they were back on the West Coast, they all needed to head up to L.A. for a day). And off I went, to be carried into the night to my home city and picked up by my dear CuteFilmNerd, ending the night in his arms.

*sigh*

Ya know, I’ve been bouncing around these interwebs for over a decade now. I’ve met some terrific people from all over the world thanks to the internet, including my dear friend Linda and, of course, CuteFilmNerd. I can’t say that I’ve ever had a truly bad experience in my dealings with people met via the intertubes. This past weekend was no exception. While I didn’t expect otherwise, Anne and Janiece are exactly who they seem to be when reading words on a screen: fun, intelligent, hawt – strong women with definite opinions and soft hearts. Mechanicky Gal is also made of the same stuff, in addition to being the hostess with the mostest – gracious as all get out.

Seriously, ladies, thanks for such a fun time. I can’t wait to do this again.

(Though maybe leave out the drunken waterfront bar brawls next time? I don’t think I’ve recovered yet…)

(Also, there was knitting. Mechanicky Gal’s knitting looked too difficult, but Janiece’s looked doable. I may have to give that a shot.)