just an ordinary goddess…

But this weekend sure scared me enough to think I wasn’t too far behind.

Okay, that is more than a little hyperbolic, but having to have to go to the emergency room was more than a little jarring.

I had a pretty bad episode on Saturday – HSTeacher had to take me to the emergency room because it lasted much longer than usual. As a rule the epidoses come and go, with maybe a minute or so per episode at the most.

However, when HSTeacher was taking me to the train which would take me home in time for a cable guy appointment (I was planning to join the 21st century and get high-speed internet), I felt an episode start.

We got to the train station and had a few minutes to wait, but the episode just kept happening, even though I did all my usual tricks to calm myself, such as breathing exercises. I warned HSTeacher that I might not be able to get on the train, but I also said that maybe we should get to the platform to see how I felt. We got to the platform and I had to lean against a pole. It was not good, so I sat down for a few moments while he held me, then we went back to his place.

I laid down, thinking that maybe I needed to rest a bit, but we started to look up emergency rooms in the area, just in case. Ten minutes later I told my honey that we had to go to the emergency room, because my whole body started tingling. I sat up and swung my legs over the side, but the thought of standing on my own was too much to bear, so HSTeacher had to help me up and helped me out to his car. I could walk, but it was slow going and I was more than a little wobbly.

We got to the hopsital and, as we parked, a new symptom appeared: my right hand just started shaking, though not for long. We did the whole check-in rigmarole and soon afterwards the nurses got me into the triage portion, though I had to wait quite a while for a technician to perform my EKG – the hospital was extremely busy. Of course, as is the case of every other EKG I’ve had since October, it was a lovely EKG in every way, suitable for framing. However, not everything was so hunky dory: my normally on-the-low-side-of-normal blood pressure was up to 143/82 and my heart rate was at 101 – the chances are that it had come down by that point.

Since it was ascertained that I wasn’t having a heart attack – at least not at that moment – back out to the waiting room I went (HSTeacher had been chased out of the triage area earlier due to space issues – too many people back there as well). So we waited for another few hours, with his arm around my shoulder, my head on his shoulder and his head resting on mine. At one point I was feeling better and he was starting to doze, so we switched and I rested his head on my chest. We were way too sweet for words.

All told we were in the emergency room for about five to six hours. Finally I asked one of the nurses if she had a rough estimate about much longer it would be before my name was called. Because of the extreme business of the ER, she couldn’t even give me a ballpark figure. At that point I was feeling much better (though very tired) so we left, because we could have been sitting there for another three to four, if not more. (One guy had gotten there three hours before we did – at 5am – and he was still waiting at 1pm)

So Saturday’s episode lasted over three hours. Worst. Epiosde. Ever.

I also started my period on Saturday, which didn’t help me feel any better. The whole day was me sleeping off and on, HSTeacher being very solicitous, trying to keep his kids as quiet as possible, bringing me a heating pad for my abdomen and making sure I got the sleep I needed. Admittedly there was one time we clashed, but that was through a misunderstanding that we cleared up, and he was the perfect boyfriend. Of course.

Sunday I was still feeling off, but well enough to head back home and attend a political meeting. MusicianMan and I talked a bit about what’s been going on with me and he made some good suggestions, also agreeing with what I’ve been doing to narrow this thing down.

I am feeling much better now. I went for my previously scheduled follow-up this morning, where a new wrinkle entered the scene. My blood pressure decided to have a little fun today. Around 9:30am it was taken and registered at 116/72. Pretty good. But, only an hour later it was taken again. This time? 130/83. And thirty minutes later my docotor took my blood pressure again, in both arms, with the old fashioned stethescope/BP cuff method, and it hovered around 140/85.

For criminey’s sake.

So Doc is putting me on a low dose of beta blockers. And baby aspirin.

Woo Fucking Hoo.

Who knows what’s going on? I sure don’t. But I am going to continue to work on my eating habits, just to see how much that helps, and I’m going to eat out a lot less than I have. Instead I’m going to prepare a lot more of my own foods, eat as much organic food as possible, because there is the possibility I’ve developed a sensitivity to something. And get right back on the supplements that I negelected a little last week because my schedule was thrown off so much. And I’ll know next week the results of my Holter monitor test.

I’m really getting tired of all of this. Can I go back to feeling relatively healthy again? Please?

Yesterday I went and done got myself a Holter monitor strapped to my chest:

Five lovely electrodes were taped to several strategic points, including under my breasts. It’s always kinda funny when electrodes have to be placed there, because the nurses – all female – are always a little hesitant, especially since I possess rather large breasts that tend flop a bit, what with them belonging to a plus-size 40 year old and all. I always just grab them and hoist them out of the way, which they appreciate (the nurses, not the breasts – I don’t think the breasts like to be hoisted much).

I wore the monitor until 11am today, whereupon it automatically switched off and was unstrapped. It looks so innocent, sitting there, all turned off:

But it’s not, because the tape that was used to keep the wires from moving and catching and dislocating the electrodes itched like a mo-fo. The itchiness got so bad last night that I had to take melatonin to fall asleep, even though I was exhausted.

And it wasn’t just that the itchiness nearly drove me out of my mind. The electrodes marked me for life:

Or at least for several hours afterwards. That mark was near my left clavicle.

I’m going back to the second clinic on Monday morning for a follow-up, but I did have a few episodes yesterday. Not bad ones, but there was definitely some dizziness and palpitations. One was on my way to the hospital, but the rest should have been caught by the monitor. However, unless something serious is found, I won’t hear the results for another couple of weeks.

I really hope I don’t hear from them for another couple of weeks.

…too bad I’m not excited about it.

Things have been going far too well in the World of Carol, so I’ve kinda been expecting the other shoe to drop any second. It seems like it just might have done so.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a clinic to have tests run on my heart and blood and the like. Everything tested normal, including my thyroid, so there should be nothing to worry about, right?

Not so much.

On Saturday there was a moment where I got into HSTeacher’s waterbed and laid down, suddenly short of breath with some pressure in the chestal area. It lasted for a few minutes, but HSTeacher was sleeping at the time and I didn’t want to wake him, and it went away. I started to think, however, that maybe I should go back to the doctor’s, especially as I had I’d recently read that symptoms of heart disease in women are different than those in men and almost every symptom listed has been experienced by me. The only one that I haven’t experienced were the cold sweats or clamminess, but I have had a few moments where I’ve been unusually cold. Then again, the weather has been cold as of late, so who knows.

Yesterday I had an episode of my usual symptoms: feeling a bit faint, heart palpitations, chest pressure, a little short of breath, inexplicably exhausted. I even experienced pain in my right arm, which was new for me. I was merely sitting down at the time, attending an impeachment town hall and not expending much energy. It subsided a bit, but the rest of the evening I felt off.

So this morning I went to another clinic in my network, one that is closer to home than the previous one and is actually on my way to work, so I could possibly get into work in the afternoon (which is where I am now). ECG, bloodwork, more fun tests, whee!

The upshot of the consultation? On Thursday I get to go to my local county hospital, which is affiliated with UCLA and, I believe, has a good cardiology department – I’m doing research on them now – and pick up a heart monitor. I don’t know yet how long I’ll have to wear it, but i hope it’s not too long – I’m not supposed to shower while wearing it. I don’t know about y’all, but I tend to get a little stinky if I go more than one day without showering.

And here is one example of the type of monitor I’ll be wearing:

Pretty, no?

Okay, no.

Still, it wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that I may have to wear it strapped across my chest with a shoulder strap:

Yep, that’s how I’ll look with my lovely new electronics. Except I expect to be wearing clothes over the monitor. And to look less masculine. Most likely I’ll still have breasts.

I’ll go back to the clinic on Monday for a follow-up. Oh joy.

I know I’m a bit of a gadget geek, but this? This is one gadget I could definitely do without.

Okay, damnit, who dropped that damned shoe?